Welcome to Bad Ass School

The world of stealing and drinking was introduced to me in junior high school by Shauna Homestead. She also introduced smoking cigarettes, hitch hiking, and blow jobs. When we first started hanging out, it was by no accident. I had always hung with the popular girls and they were always fun and sweet in spite of how movies portray them. But, I needed to explore my wild side. Shauna was a perfect mentor.

We began hanging out during our journalism class where we feverishly worked on interesting articles for the school paper. She was into fashion and I was into all the sappy song dedications, setting up booths during lunch so people could dedicate songs to their friends or secret crushes. Shauna was very pretty but a tough and rough character. She had a reputation for being easy. One of my friend’s mother even said she was “the devil.”

One day, she asked me if I’d like to stay after school with her to watch the basketball game and report on it for the school paper. I knew this day would be a turning point of my innocence. I didn’t know what she had in store only that I was willing to go along.

We both told our parents we needed to stay late after school. As school let out, she asked me to follow her outside. She sat down and leaned her back against the building. Then, she pulled out a pack of menthol cigarettes, lit one and inhaled as if she had been doing it for centuries. I looked at her wide-eyed. She looked at me, “Have you ever smoked before?,” she smirked.

“No,” I said.

“Here,” she handed me the cigarette, “try it.”

“Is it going to make me sick?”

“No. You’ll be fine! Just inhale it and swallow it,” she explained.

I sucked some smoke into my mouth and then swallowed just like you’d swallow a chunk of bread.

“Ha ha ha,” she threw her head back and laughed, her big white teeth shining, “you look hilarious.”

“Shut up," I mumbled.

“Let’s get out of here,” she said standing up.

“What about the basketball game?,” I asked nervously.

“We’ll come back at the end for the score,” she answered and started walking away from the school.

“Where are we going?” I was excited but apprehensive.

“Let’s go to the mini-mart,” she said.

We walked and walked. It must have been a mile or so. When we got there, she said, “I’m going to teach you how to steal. Watch me and don’t act suspicious. Try to take something too.”

We entered the tiny little convenience store. She confidently slipped a pack of Twinkies under her shirt and then grabbed a pack of gum to buy. Her strategy was you steal stuff but you always buy something so everything seems normal. She looked over her shoulder, mouthing the words, “come on.”

My heart started racing. I wasn’t sure I could do it. Hell, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to. What was the point? I grabbed a roll of Sweet Tarts and basically mimicked her entire act. We paid and left. I had a huge rush of energy and was shaking.

“Come on,” she said, “stop acting so chicken shit!,” she laughed again.

We had little time to get back to the school before the game was over and before our parents picked us up. “We’re not going to make it in time,” she said.

“Hurry! Hurry!,” I said picking up the pace.

“No, don’t worry. We’ll just get a ride back,” she said. She turned around and started walking backwards with her thumb up nice and high.

“What are you doing?” I cried. “We’re going to hitch hike?”

“Yeah, don’t worry,“ she said.

Within minutes, a little hatch back car slowed down. An overweight woman smiled hello and told us to get in. She looked very nice. Shauna told her we needed to get back to school. She took us back with no questions. As soon as we got out of the car, our parents showed up.

“See ya,” she hit me on the back and got into her mother’s car.

I got into my mother’s car speechless. In two hours I had managed to smoke my first cigarette, steal and hitch hike.